just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
