At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
