Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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