She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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