You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
