Christians are straight up FREAKS
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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