Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
