i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
