Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
where are my eyebrows?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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