I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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