Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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