theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize