What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I can't turn off my feet"
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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