Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
