community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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