He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
