Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
