They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize