id be glad to
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
