Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
