Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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