i just google imaged poop.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
