Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
