the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
