it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
