I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
