So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize