I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
