You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
