he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
3pm strippers are depressing
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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