Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I didn't shave. On purpose
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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