Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
