I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
