Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
