I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
