you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
