you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
