you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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