Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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