You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
