this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
