i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
