I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize