I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
