I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
