if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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