Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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