please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
