thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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