i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
zippers are such a cool invention
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
