there was a trapeze. enough said
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
