Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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