Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
