After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
