By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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