this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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