Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
