omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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