if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You've changed since you got that strap on
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