How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
