I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
