I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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