You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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