I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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