Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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